The A-Team... and movie reviews in general....

Okay, something a bit different this time. I want to preface this by saying I am not trying to influence anyone's opinion of this movie or any movie, I prefer people watch films for themselves and make their own decisions, and then see if they agree with the reviews. That's part of the problem with the movie-going experience today. People tend to allow bloggers and reviewers to spoon-feed them opinions, rather than putting forth the effort to go see it themselves and form their own opinions. As a society, we really have to learn to take with a grain of salt what these bloggers and reviewers say. I wish I had a nickel for every time I read a review which completely bashed a film, only to go see the film for myself and end up enjoying it. Don't cheat yourself of a good entertainment opportunity based on someone else's opinion. Frankly, I'd be interested to know when was the last time these disagreeable, bitter, curmudgeonly balls of vitriol actually had an enjoyable experience, from a film or anything else for that matter. From what I've seen in the world, most people who seem to have a forcefully negative opinion about EVERYTHING either have an ulterior motive, or simply don't know what they're talking about. And really, if negative movie reviews aren't designed to hijack people's opinions of films, then why do reviewers make these reviews available before the film actually releases? Over the past week I've read several reviews of, for example, The Other Guys, which still doesn't release for another four days.

And believe me, for those people who HAVE seen for themselves the movie I'm going to discuss (or any movie,) and decide they hate it, then great, God bless, you've done your duty (Lord knows I have a couple of friends who loved the show but hated the movie - but they actually went and saw it with an open mind.) Like I said, I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. But for those people who decide NOT to see a movie simply because of what someone else thinks, or go into a movie with their minds made up they're going to hate it, or decide that a movie is going to be bad because it's based on a TV show (and is therefore unimaginative) or had 11 different writers (and therefore probably could be described by a word which rhymes with "dusterchuck") and write a review based on those preconceived notions, then, shame on them.
 

That said, I watched the A-Team yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. I was skeptical, because there had been quite a bit of negative reviews for it, but I went into this the same way I go into every film - open minded. For this particular film, I like the source material, I like the actors, and I like the premise, so I gave it a shot. I wasn't disappointed. Then again, I'm a 31-year-old man and grew up watching the show, so I sort of fall into the target demographic anyway.

 
***Spoilers ahead - beware!

See, the trick is, you have to know what to expect when you go into it. I believe a person's enjoyment of a film is directly proportional to their expectations. If you go into this film expecting Oscar-winning art direction, deep character development, or Liam Neeson shouting "Release the Kraken!" every five minutes, then you'll be disappointed. If you go in expecting a fun summer action movie, then you'll enjoy it. That's all.

I've read some HORRIBLE reviews from a lot of people (read: Deadline Hollywood, Box Office Mojo, Hollywood Reporter) complaining that the plot is too shallow (or non-existent) to which I have to say, "Did you SEE the original show??" The plot can be easily summed up for any episode of the TV show, as well as the movie:

1. Someone is a bad guy. They are often wearing all black.

2. There will be a plan (which, at some point, will come together.)

3. The plan will be executed by the same 4 wrongly-convicted, escaped Army Rangers.

4. At some point, everything will seem to be going to shit, but wait! It's really part of the plan.

I'm going to stop using the word plan for the time being. But that's really it. Nothing earth shaking or high concept. It's intrigue, twists, switcheroos, explosions, and light-hearted action.

In the film, the origin story was rehashed a bit, to make it more current, but it boiled down to a group of Army Rangers meeting during a generic mission, then staying together for 8 years, 80 missions in Iraq. During a mission to recover money-printing plates from an Iraqi insurgent, they are framed for a crime they didn't commit, by a group of independent contractors looking to print their own money. Blackforest is led by Pike, dressed in the aforementioned all-black body armor and bodysuit.

During the mission-gone-bad, the man who sent Smith and his Team on the mission to recover the plates (General Morrison) is supposedly killed, but it turns out later he was in league with Pike to get the plates and split the profits.

There was a wild card in all of this, though - a man from the CIA calling himself "Lynch" was responsible for Hannibal and company being sent on this mission. As it turns out, Lynch is the linchpin (look, a pun!) in the crime for which the A-Team was framed. Lynch is your typical "evil mastermind" type of baddie who runs things from the shadows, appears to be "one of the good guys," but turns out later to be anything but. Can't blame people for not knowing - after all, he wasn't wearing all-black. This does fit with the "bad guy rule of three" where there should always be an obvious baddie, a shadowy mastermind, and a turncoat that goes bad and works with the criminals.

As expected, the team breaks out of jail and goes on a mission to clear their names, get revenge, and finish the original mission by recovering the stolen plates.

In a bit of a twist, instead of Hannibal being the one to come up with the plan every time, Face ends up coming up with the big plan in the end of the film, sort of redeeming himself for always being the impulsive guy with poor judgment. The plan is carried off successfully, but not without a hitch or two, a few massive explosions, and the occasional "wild swing from hanging cables to land on precarious footing which seemed to come from nowhere."

In the end, the crew is redeemed, but locked back up for escaping from prison, despite the wrongful accusations which landed them there in the first place (and as Hannibal says, it's still a crime to escape from prison, even if you were wrongly convicted.)

I have neglected to mention that Charissa Sosa is an agent tasked with finding and reclaiming the plates. She is integral in the final plan working out, and ultimately she reconciles with her ex, Face, and helps them clear their names. However, in the course of clearing their names and receiving the thanks of the CIA, she inadvertently aids in their recapture due to their escape. On an odd side note, I had no idea her name was Sosa until about halfway through the film, even though she's introduced (through a visceral exchange with Face) in the first 20 minutes of the film. Does that seem odd to anyone else?

So, in the spirit of the plot breakdown above, here is how character development (and archetypes) will work for A-Team films and episodes:

1. Hannibal will be cool.

2. Face will be a sarcastic slickster.

3. Murdoch will be crazy.

4. BA will beat people up and be afraid of planes. He may also drink milk (Mr. T version only.)

5. The obvious bad guy will be obvious and bad.

6. The "ringleader" will be evil but less obvious (though, he should be pretty obvious, too.)

7. The turncoat will disappoint people with his lack of honor.

8. Jon Hamm will play Don Draper with the code name Lynch (taking over for the previous bad Lynch.)**

9. Jessica Biel will play Jessica Biel. 'Nuff said.**

**Applies to film only.

On a couple of side notes, first, BA's "pick up Pike and drop him on his head" thing is probably one of the coolest kills I've seen in an action movie.

Also, in closing, who knew that those little electronic voice boxes from talking dolls are so high-tech they can be used to recreate the voice of any human? That's impressive technology for a Betsy Wetsy.