Game Week, Day 4 - Killzone 3

Okay, I have mixed feelings about tonight's entry, Killzone 3. Good and bad, so let's get started.

First off, in the interest of full disclosure, I've never played a Killzone game. So I approached tonight's demo on Jimmy Fallon's show with an open mind and a clean slate. The developer describes it as "World War II, 500 years in the future, with access to spaceships." Okay, I'm more than a little intrigued so far. Frankly, it sounds like Sony's answer to Microsoft's Halo franchise, which is definitely not a bad thing in my book.

While Killzone's storyline sounds (vaguely) like Halo, the realism is light years past Halo. (Read: not more advanced, just grittier and more realistic.) The levels shown were hyper-realistic, with good graphics (what you'd expect from a PS3 game, or any next-gen system) and lots of blood, severed limbs, and explosions. So, think of it more like Call of Duty set WAAAAYY in the future. (Perhaps a sneak peek of what may be in store with the recently-reserved web address hinting at a Call of Duty: Future Warfare? Time will tell.)

What I was not crazy about was the choice of level for demo in the first part. The level was one of those overly typical "non-player character flys you around a structure while you shoot stuff." The reason this was a bad choice is that it is inherently limited as first-person shooter levels go. You are forced to go at the NPC's pace, and the only game feature shown off is the ability to point and shoot. Hardly innovative.

Now, if innovation is what we're looking for (and it definitely is, at least in part) then I wasn't disappointed with the next segment. Apparently this game is the first to make use of 3D technology, and if Jimmy's reactions were any indication (mostly shouts of OH MY GOD! and one comment of, "It's like a Viewmaster, only we're killing things!") then the effect is very good indeed.

What was slightly disappointing was that there was no way to convey this to the home audience, or even the studio audience. The only one who could enjoy it was Jimmy, and the rest of us were stuck with that double-image you always get when watching 3D with no glasses.

Also somewhat ominous were the developer's choice of words. He said, "You have to have one of these new Sony Bravia 3D HDTV's." Now, I won't even get started on why I don't like 3D TV ($150 per pair of glasses??) What concerns me here is, was this Bravia comment just a convenient plug by a Sony developer for another Sony product, meaning you can really use ANY 3D TV, or could this be a hint at an entirely new level of exclusivity? Was the developer saying that not only is this game Sony exclusive, but the 3D functionality will only work on a Sony TV? Let's hope not....

The game isn't slated to release until February of 2011 (sorry Holiday buyers) so there's plenty of time for these and other questions to be answered.... Namely, who in their right mind spends $150 on a pair of 3D glasses, which you'll still need to keep batteries in? If remote controls had cost $150 when they first came out, we'd have a lot more people still walking across the room to change the channel today....

Tune in tomorrow for the final day of Game Week!

Game Week, Day 3 - Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit

Today's installment of game week brings us something that may not feel all that unfamiliar, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit for Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. I know what you're thinking, I liked it the first time, when it was on PC and was called... Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit.

But wait, don't be hasty my young hobbits! This episode (I think we're up to 114 now) in the NFS series takes things back to the game's roots, and refreshes this particular series with a console edition. In addition to the traditional souped-up vehicles, this installment features a couple of new twists. One such twist is the ability to choose whether to be the pursuer or the pursuee (and I know the Smokey and the Bandit fans will love that line) enabling you to choose to control one of the super-powered police vehicles, and do the chasing from that side of the law.

Also, a new "social networking" aspect will be included, no doubt allowing you to spam your friends' news feeds with thousands of announcements like "I need help building a garage for my car farm," or, "I just found a lost Delorean on my property!"

Sure, there will be the ability to develop careers, both specific to a single car, as well as driver careers across multiple cars. But the bottom line is, this game involves plenty of what you would expect - lots of fast driving, chasing, and more often than not, crashing. Why, I've never seen anything like it.... The closest comparison I can think of is... a game called Need for Speed... maybe you've heard of it?

Game Week, Day 2 - Call of Duty: Black Ops

Day two of Late Night's Game Week treated us to some hands-on footage of Call of Duty: Black Ops, which looks to be the best Treyarch-branded entry in the dual-company game series. Heretofore, Treyarch has handled the odd-numbered installments, while partners-in-war Infinity Ward have handled the evens. The problem with that for Treyarch is that IW emerged as the more skilled developer with the release of CoD 2 and so every game which Treyarch released was inevitably compared to IW's previous release, and usually fell well short of the mark.

Now, personally, I've always enjoyed the Treyarch games, but have always found the multiplayer to be lacking compared to the IW installments. Storyline of single player has never been a problem. I think the smartest thing for Treyarch to do was to pick a completely new location and time period, and that's exactly what they've done with Black Ops.

I've been beating a drum for a couple of years, saying it would be smart to see Call of Duty visit Vietnam. In Black Ops we are set in Southeast Asia in the late 60's, likely playing a part in Cambodia, Vietnam, and as demonstrated on Jimmy's show tonight, Laos.

Historically, this will be a great time and location in which to set CoD. Add to that the fact that it's entirely new territory for the franchise, eliminating the damaging comparison's to IW's entries, and this could be the best thing to happen to Treyarch since they first became involved with the series.

We didn't have much time to see a lot of different things in tonight's demo, but what we did see was VERY appealing. Vehicular combat makes a return, but whether that will include tanks is unclear. What we DID see were Hind helicopters being flown and controlled by the player. That alone is worth the price of admission.

Visually, the graphics look stunning, and it would be cool to hear a couple of more guest voice-actors, like Keifer Sutherland and Gary Oldman in Treyarch's last installment, the WWII-themed World at War. The developer was very closed-mouthed about any details other than Laos, 1968, so it's unclear what else this entry has in store for us Gamers, but I look forward to finding out!

The only other thing I can say is, I hope they have spent as much time on storyline in this one as they spent on figuring out how to make people realistically blow apart in World at War....

Game Week 1: Microsoft Kinect

Okay, this week will be a bit of a departure for me, as I am planning to discuss items previewed on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon's "Game Week." Don't get me wrong, I'm hoping to provide plenty of pithy observations... along with sporadic use of the word "pithy."

So, day one of game week starts with a bang, previewing Microsoft's new controller-free gaming system, Kinect. From what I've seen, it looks fantastic, not just in practical gaming applications, but also the potential for future development. On tonight's show, two games were featured, Kinect Adventures, and Kinect Sports. The sports game looks to be the more fun of these two, but both looked enjoyable. We need to see more of "Adventures," because as of now we've really only seen the "jumping in a raft" aspect of that game and don't know if it has more variety than that. Sports will definitely have a selection of sports to choose, which automatically makes it look more interesting. Compare this to similar games on the Wii like Wii Sports Resort.

Really, I'm hoping not to do a disservice to the system by making the inevitable comparison between the Wii and Kinect, because the systems are remarkably dissimilar. The Wii has players essentially shackled to the system with a remote. With Kinect, you have no such restriction, playing games and even watching movies or otherwise controlling the system with movement of your entire body, and with voice control, through the system's motion-capture, voice rcognition, and even facial and body recognition.

Imagine if someone told you that, as much as you love your current TV remote, they have now developed a technology which allows you to control your entire entertainment system through voice commands and... interpretive dance. That's how the Wii compares to Kinect.

The games look to suffer from the usual "first time" issues. Imagine the first Nintendo, Sega, or Atari games. They seemed great in the beginning, but as programmers grew familiar with the technology, the quality of the applications increased almost exponentially. Now, I'm not saying don't get this system right away, because I'll probably get one on launch, and it will be fun. But, be expecting vast improvements on the games in the year following Kinect's release.

To give you an example, I remember playing Wave Race 64 when the Nintendo 64 came out. It looked great, and made the best use of the technology as programmers were able at the time. But things only got better from there. That's the same feeling I got from Kinect Adventures - looks good, but things will get even more impressive. And given the quality of today's next-gen systems, I believe the improvement will take place much more quickly than it did under older-generation equipment.

Kinect is slated for a November 4th launch, side-by-side with 15 games designed specifically for Kinect, but the system will also be used by other games developed to take advantage of the new hardware. There is no official Microsoft-stated price point as of yet, but rumors abound regarding a $149.99 price (which seems to be loosely validated by a pre-order page on Gamestop's website listing that price.) Kinect will work with all xbox 360s, new and old. The only difference is, the newest 360 SKU (gloss black and chrome, with a 250 GB hard drive) is "Kinect-ready," which reportedly means the Kinect device will be powered by an on-board power supply, while older systems will require a separate power supply for the Kinect hardware (supplied with the device.) No word yet as to what the extra power requirement may do for the internal heat situation on the new box.

More to come tomorrow!

WRITER'S NOTE, JUNE 23: The $149 price point now appears to be confirmed by multiple retailers, and even MS themselves.

BP - Beyond Pathetic

Okay, I want to get something out of the way first. I don't usually get too "serious" in my blog, and there will be humor later, but I need to say this. This oil disaster in the gulf is heartbreaking, and my thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the 11 lost workers, and the working families whose lives and livelihoods are impacted by this catastrophe. Initially, I didn't blame BP for the actual explosion itself - and frankly, I still don't think they were mostly to blame for the equipment malfunction itself. The company that owned, operated, and maintained the equipment would be the more logical target. However, unless you're an investigator, that's no longer the point. The point is, BP has agreed to take care of the mess, so they should, y'know... do that.

Right now it seems like little to no time is being spent actually enacting these fixes that they talk about. It sounds like they have decided that the "relief well" is going to be the only valid solution, and so why bother putting their full effort into anything else? They don't have the ability to stop the damned leak, but they DO have the ability to set up a live feed on the ocean floor, showing us just how unsuccessful the efforts to stop it have been? Really? That would be like saying, "Hey, we don't have the technology to land on Mars yet, but we DO have the ability to build remotely a perfect 1/8th scale erector set model of Manhattan Island. On Mars."

To borrow a phrase from a friend of mine, "Put a brick on it." (I call this method the "Kaged Thunder.") I mean, if BP had spent as much time coming up with logical solutions as they spent on coming up with cool names for their projects, they'd have it stopped by now. Seriously, we've had the "Containment Dome" (or ConDom for short...) the Top Kill, the Junk Shot, and the Top Hat (which, by the way, they never used. They lowered it to the ocean floor and then... what? They certainly never tried it.)

Their latest attempt involves robots slicing a clean cut through the pipe, and then capping it with one of four different devices, which are basically just variously configured top hats. And do you know what they call this method? They call it... wait for it... "Cut and cap." That's it? That's more a description than a name, isn't it?

To me, this is a sure sign that BP has given up. If they've lost the will to come up with clever names, they've lost any desire to actually fix the problem. Not that they won't keep trying, but I have a feeling they'll be half-hearted attempts, because they already have their hearts set on the relief well being the only cure.

If imagination is the problem, let me help, please. I can come up with clever names for your projects, so you guys can refocus your energy on something that actually matters, like actually FIXING THE PROBLEM. Here are some thoughts:

1. Take the current project, for example. A bunch of stiff robots, clumsily going through a series of intricate choreography. Instead of "Cut and Cap," I recommend we call this, "The Kate Gosselin."

2. How about stacking a mile long column of bad DVD's, then sliding that into the broken pipe? This could be called, "The Gigli."

3. How about giving a stand up comedian a once-in-a-lifetime shot at stopping the leak, only to be replaced by another who demands the opportunity? You could call it "The Leno," just don't be surprised when the replacement doesn't do any better than the other....

4. Listen to James Cameron's shamelessly self-promoting idea, which involves using something called "Unobtanium" to congeal the oil before it leaves the pipe. He calls it "Ava-TAR." Seriously, will someone get this guy a hobby?

5. Get the Dharma Initiative to build a small room around the leak. In this room, place only a computer and a small chair. Every 3 seconds, someone must press the Space Bar, or the leak will start again, destroying the room and anyone in it. You can call this one, "WHY THE HELL WAS THERE A CORK IN THE ISLAND?!?!"

6. Have Jesse James be the one in charge of pressing the Space Bar in example 5. This way, we'll finally be rid of him and he'll be someplace where we know he can't cause any more problems. I call this one "The Waste of Space."

Okay, here's one last idea. If you don't like this one, I don't know what to tell you. How about a group of people who make an obscene amount of money (no, not the NBA) puts their heads together (IMPORTANT: This means your heads will have to be out of your asses) and comes up with a plan to fix what should be a less-than-impossible problem. Don't worry about 4 months from now. Fix it now. Don't worry about trying to pass the cost on to your customers - you screwed it up, don't expect someone else to pay for fixing it for you. You could call it "The BP," instead of what it's currently called, "The Fantasy World."

Oh, and for the love of God, if people want to offer you ideas, fine, but stop asking the general public to come up with an idea to fix it. This is part of what your scientists and engineers get paid for out of your ridiculous yearly profits - it's damage control. And it really makes you look even sillier and more incompetent than you already appear.

If you think I'm being unreasonable, consider this final thought: in all the times I've visited a hospital in my life, I have yet to see a doctor run into the waiting room and yell at the patients, "Quick, who knows how to set a broken bone? I have never seen anything remotely like this!"

That's all for now....

Worst... advertising... EVER....

I would like to air a few grievances with companies who think they are effectively marketing their products to me, but are really just annoying the hell out of me.

1. UPS. What can brown do for you? Maybe I should have started with a different one, because this one always leaves me shaking my head, speechless. First of all, every time I hear this slogan, I think of bathroom humor. I'm sorry if that makes me an 11 year old boy, but I do. Second, while I think it was an odd choice to make their primary color "brown," that's beside the point - who refers to their company based on the main color of the logo? It would be like FedEx saying, "Orange and blue delivers fast for you!" Or the US Postal Service saying, "Mail Trucks: the Robert Duvall of delivery. They're old, white, and a lot slower than they should be!"

And while we're on the subject, what else would I WANT "brown" to do for me? Have they added to their list of services? Because if it doesn't have to do with shipping packages, I'm probably not going to UPS....

2. DHL - "Yellow is the new Brown." Sheesh. Way to drink the Kool-Aid, DHL.

3. There are a couple of car dealerships in the Houston area which advertise using animated talking cars. This by itself isn't that annoying, but ONE of these dealerships decided to make the cars have bad attitudes. I mean SERIOUSLY bad. In each of the commercials, the owner comes on and talks a bit about his dealership, and then the car starts speaking in a really egotistical manner and for the most part, insulting the owner through the commercial. Is this supposed to make me want to buy a car from them? Because unless you're pushing a model called the "Chrysler Jackass" it's really not effective. The only thing in which you've succeeded is making me want to find your lot and punch the cars in the face. (Oh, hell, you've made me think of them as having faces now. I hate you.)

4. He went to Jared. I'm going to say this once. Are you listening? Good. I could not begin to tell you HOW LITTLE I CARE WHERE HE WENT! Sorry. Don't know where I went there for a second. Really, though. Shut up.

5. Capital One - What's in your wallet? I'm not telling. Because, first of all, there's NOTHING in my wallet; I sent it all to my Capital One bill! And if I tell you what's in my wallet, you'll probably figure out a way to adjust my rates or assess fees so you can get the REST!

6. Greyhound - Leave the driving to us. Also good things to leave to Greyhound? Crashing, burning, and settling personal injury lawsuits.

7. M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hand! Okay, I love you M&Ms, but you have to stop this false advertising. Which one of us as kids didn't test this theory by grabbing a handful and holding them tight, only to come out of it with a sticky multicolored hand? When the Red Bull people say "It gives you wings," they don't actually try to convince you that you can jump out of a building after drinking one and NOT experience a sudden failure to live. So, why all the deception, M&Ms?

8. Toyota - I love what you do for me. This one just writes itself, doesn't it? Do I really need to say, "Yes, if what you do for me is take my brakes away and crash me into the back of a semi at 90 MPH?" I do? Oh, okay.

9. This one goes back home for me. In Iowa there was a power company, don't know if they're still around, with the name MidAmerican Energy, and their slogan was "Obsessively, relentlessly at your service." Really, MidAmerican Energy? You don't think that sounds a bit desperate? 'Cause I'd be okay with just "At my service whenever I ask for it." If I open my bedroom door and find you lurking on the other side asking if you can help me out with my power lines, I will react to you in much the same way I react to an obnoxious talking car.

Oh and get this, their address in Des Moines is 666 Grand Avenue! I can think of another historical figure who relentlessly tries to get you to sign a contract with him... in fact I think he had the same address....

10. Finally... Southwest Airlines has been pushing its new ad campaign lately. I know you want me to go on a vacation and book a flight with you in the process. But please, I beg you, for the love of all that is good and pure in this world, PLEASE stop commanding me to "Grab my bag." Seriously. Stop it.

You don't know me like that, Southwest Airlines....

Limited Time Offer...

Odd...

I saw an ad in a flyer this weekend which baffled me. I know that companies have gotten to the point where they cut down on any "extras" included with their products, for the most part to save money. Understandable. Except where those things they choose NOT to put in are actually required to use the item.

It doesn't really matter what the item was, but the important thing was, in the description of the item it said, "Act now and get a FREE AC Adaptor ($4.99 value!)" Wow. So, you're selling me this thing, and if I act now, I'll also get the ability to use it? Great. Because if I bought it at some other time and found out there was NO CORD in with it, you know... I might feel kind of screwed.

This, to me, is possibly the worst kind of sleazy marketing. You're making it seem like a perk to give people the AC Adaptor. It's not. It isn't like buying a Blu-Ray player that only comes with composite (yellow) video cables, because you can still use it, you just have to get a BETTER cable to get the best picture. It's not even like a Printer company selling you a printer but not putting in a USB cable, because they figure you're replacing another printer and don't NEED another USB cable. If I buy something, I need POWER. If it's not a battery-operated device (which this one is NOT) then of COURSE it needs a power cord!

It's not even like we could choose to use a different cable, or go to the store and buy a universal power cable - we live in America, land of the free, home of companies that can choose to shape their power inputs like tiny trapezoids. Or maple leaves. Or... the silhouette of Alfred Hitchcock. Good luck finding that on a Best Buy rack.

You can't even use another cable which may just HAPPEN to be shaped the same! Electronics have so many different power requirements, you could have a Laptop adaptor which supplies 12 Amps, which is the same size and shape as the AC adaptor for your coffee pot, but look out, the coffee pot only uses 6 Amps, so if you switch the two, that toxic smell you notice won't be your toast burning.

Selling a product in this day and age with no AC adaptor would be like selling a remote control with no buttons. Or selling a refrigerator and saying, "Act now and receive a one-month supply of cold air free!" Or hiring Jesse James for a day without Sandra Bullock to increase his star quality. Sure, the one will sit somewhere in your home and take up space, but without the other, they'll NEVER WORK.

It's not an unfair request to make. If you sell someone a thing... make sure they have what they need to make that thing work as advertised. Otherwise, you should change your ad from, "Super-fast laptop computer (memory not included)" to "Big rectangular paperweight."